Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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