Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
