I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
