Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
In America we eat man semen.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
