my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
