Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
