I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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