the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
