she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
