I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
