im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
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our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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