hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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