Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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