erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
