Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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