Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
