i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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