pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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