We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
