Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
