I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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