Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
