Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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