you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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