you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
