Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
