you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
