I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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