Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
