so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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