I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
