no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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