I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
