Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
