At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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