Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My dick has a subreddit
I have fence marks all over my body
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
