I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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