was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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