It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
