So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
