I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
