He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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