Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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