break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
