I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
