Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
