Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
