dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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