The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
