i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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