if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
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he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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