i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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