Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You smell like a Billy Joel song
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
