Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
