I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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