I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
