I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize