Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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